Saturday, February 11, 2012

Porngate? What A Fail

Indian politicians are the biggest attention-seekers in the world. They get attention even when they don't want it.

A few days ago (8th Feb), three Karnataka BJP ministers (now ex-ministers) were caught watching porn on a mobile phone during an assembly debate.

My immediate reaction was one of hilarity. Getting caught watching porn, that too during an assembly debate? Classic. It also proved irrevocably to me that:


A media storm ensued after that. The three ministers- CC Patil, Laxman Savadi, and Krishna Palemar- stepped down to save face for their party, because the BJP would not force them to as a matter of principle (as if we can't see right through that). Patil is in fact the minister for women and child development. The hilarity doesn't end there: Savadi went so far as to cut the lights in his constituency so his people wouldn't watch news coverage of his innocent, I mean indecent, act. When he allowed electricity to return in the night, the cable was predictably still out. And he still maintains that they were mainly doing "research" on what rave parties were all about. (And millions of little boys around the world are on their way to becoming anatomy experts as well).

The media has not dropped this. Why should they? It's fodder to fill in between news about the UP State Polls and updates on Yuvraj Singh's health. It's gold! Who doesn't love a good porn controversy, particularly the so-called conservatives that are we Indians?

The timing couldn't have been more perfect either. Porn had a huge promotional run just recently when Sunny Leone was a guest on Big Boss.

But let's get serious for a second: all this hoopla, all this condemnation from all corners, all this rushing to take the high moral ground... it's boring.

First of all, I DON'T CARE IF THEY WERE WATCHING PORN. I mean, sure, it's funny, but who gives a crap? What does worry me is that they weren't paying attention during a supposedly important debate. What does worry me is that is what my taxes are going for. I don't care if he was jerking off or solving a Rubik's cube, I want my elected representatives to fucking PAY ATTENTION in assembely. Because if they're not doing their job, the country is continuing to deteriorate. This, according to me, should be the real issue. But everyone seems more concerned about the content of the mobile.

Second, I don't understand all this hulabaloo over getting the ministers to quit. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they were efficient ministers. So does this tiny little act undermine their abilities so much? Do they by default become completely inept? I understand that ministers are supposed to be "model leaders," but no matter from which part of the world people come from, their DNA is almost the same, and boys will be boys. I'm more worried about ministers who have people murdered. Who openly rape the people's resources, who steal our money. I'm worried about completely inept officials in positions of power, just waiting for the next paycheck to come. I'd take 10 porn-watching but effective officials over a corrupt, inept bastard any day.

Meh. It's all about having ammo against the opposition anyway. In another rib-tickling twist, Karnataka ritualistically sends out "moral police" to harass couples on occasions like Valentines Day. They have a pretty low tolerance for open displays of affection or even attraction to the opposite sex, because that's so unnatural. And here we have three of their sons depicting the most human nature possible. After all, "to deny our most basic impulse is to deny the very thing that makes us human."

It kind of makes me think. And then it just makes me laugh again.

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