MICA Dreaming

MICA Campus (taken off their website)

I am currently aspiring for a place in one of India's most prestigious universities for studies in communication, and one of India's most prestigious universities period.

It's almost lunacy- in a country with a population like this one, what chance do I have? Mathematically, at least?

But lo and behold, I, yes I, have been called for an interview for a lovely certificate course at said university. I am at the same time humbled and very pleased with myself. I leave tomorrow for a day long excursion at MICA (Mudra Institute of Communications, Ahmedabad for those of you who don't know).

So I've been touching base with fellow aspirants and some alumni and current enviables (read MICA students), and one of them said I should write about "what MICA means to me."

I don't know who said it, and I mean no disrespect, but that very notion kind of makes me laugh. Write about what it means to me? As if it is some girlfriend in some far away city? I'm not even in the college yet, it would be unfair of me to qualify how it makes me feel and what it means to me. I'm still chuckling as I write this. It's like one of those jokes that only you get and no one else does, know what I mean?

Ok, let me do this my way.

I had a dream, nay, a vision of what college was supposed to be. It was supposed to be a time of great freedom and self discovery. It was supposed to be an awakening, a time of hunger, a time of learning. I did have hunger. Around lunch time. That was it. You see, I did engineering (not my idea, and I won't get into that). There is nothing worse in this world than doing something you don't want to do. And my college... wow. The people*? My God. Every day my soul would be crushed. I felt the creativity and spark slowly being smashed out of me. It was enough for me to find the inspiration just to get up in the morning. I tried to find some comfort, derive some power from certain song like this one. "Believe and you will find your way..." Alas, on the days when I did believe and start off with a powerful attitude to take the day my spirit would promptly be crushed by 10 AM.

Then it ended. No tears, no final laugh and acceptance. I did not look back at the place like Tom Hanks looked back at his island when he finally escaped in Cast Away. I had left my Mordor.

My Mordor
Don't be fooled by the seemingly pretty campus! That was what trapped me!

But I missed all that "college fun." And partially, well, mostly, it was my fault. By distancing myself and refusing to participate, I missed out on a lot of things- late night hostel raids, college trips, singing in the bus, studying with friends, taking part in college events- things I would never have wanted to do in that college, yet still regret not doing. Now I see the error of my ways.

And now I get another chance... First and foremost, to do what I've always wanted to do. I was not born a scientist (even if I was born to one). I have a creative bent of mind, and I wanted to use it in such a field which combines that with some scientific thinking- advertising. I didn't get my chance out of school (for whatever reason). But now I have that. The Crafting Creative Communications certification course (whoa! Say that 5 times fast!) from MICA is one of the best in the country, as is their PG degree course. A "creative bootcamp" to drill me to do what I want. My mouth is salivating at the prospect of it.

I want to get my hands dirty. I want my old vision of people sitting under a tree, sharing ideas. I want to hear about extra classes that I would be interested in. I want to look forward to the next lecture, I want to want to hear what teacher is telling me. For too long I roamed around engineering college, wondering how could people be interested in that stuff (because I completely was not). No more! I've always been hungry for an education. Over those 4 years however, I forgot what that meant. There is more than just surviving the next exam!

And second, I will be able to live that college life that I missed. I will take part in everything. I will participate with unbridled enthusiasm and desire. No more fear stopping me- nuts to it! If there ever was a time to do something, now is it. Hostel, friends, late night dinners, study groups, singing along to someone's guitaring, practical jokes, college trips... I want it all, goddamnit! And now here is my chance to take it. All that and more.

Believe and I will find my way? I hope that leads here.

Sooooooo.... yeah. I guess that's what MICA means to me (I'm still chuckling as I write that). But seriously, MICA can provide me more than it's stellar education (and this is not an attempt to suck up, just go through their courses offered!). It can give me that college experience that I so sorely missed out on. It can match that high ideal of learning that I longed for. It can be a balm for heart and mind. A constructive force for my brain as well as my soul, all the while grooming me for a career in creativity... where FINALLY, work will become play, where finally I may be able to find happiness.

Not A Christmas Miracle :(

The strange heaven-sent lights are not a Christmas miracle. They have been put up for someone-who-lives-in-the-building's wedding.

Fark.

A Christmas Miracle?

I came home today and found mysterious lights hanging outside my window. Gasp! What sorcery is this? Could it be... could they be... Christmas lights? :D

Oh joy! I've never had such nice lights outside my window (in more than a decade at least)! From whence came thee, o strange glowing bulbs? Wherefore doth thou hang in front of my window?

It must be a Christmas miracle! It's not what I expected, but I'll fucking take it!

December? Christmas? Already? Fark!

What the fuck. This can't be.

It's already December. In fucking 2011. Over a year after I started this blog. I cannot believe it. I just turned around, and bam- it's December. "My December." Pffft. Stupid song.

It's jarring. Shocking. Especially after this year got off to such a promising start. A lot of new things were had. It was going slow and steady. Where did the time go? Where did the promise go?

And one of the more startling realizations that come with this time of the year is that Christmas is almost here. How? For me it was just that December was here, another month, another day closer to the next thing that I was supposed to do. It's supposed to be festive. But I need more time to get in the festive mood! Where's my bloody festive cheer, god damn it?

This can't be right. I don't have a drop of festivity in me at all. I need to load my iPod with the Christmas songs that are stored away the whole year in a folder, kept especially for this month. I need to get some Christmas movies. Bloody hell, I need to see something resembling Christmas soon, or else it's going to be the last week of the year, and IT WILL BE TOO FUCKING LATE. Christmas is meant to be enjoyed, and I need to do it now!

Damn my lethargic spirit! What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I not getting into this? No, I was always the one to carry on the torch of Christmas, to have that spirit burning inside me even though no one else around me gave half a bleeding damn about the holiday or it's fucking spirit. Damn it all to hell! This is the fucking subcontinent! No Christmas for you! Ha, I defy the naysayers. I wear my candycane heart on my sleeve. I shall celebrate Christmas to the maximum that I can.

Who cares if there is nothing Christmas around me? Who cares if no one seems to realize that the season is upon us and if we don't look now it'll pass us by? Who cares if it's the fucking 6th of December and I haven't heard a single carol, eaten a single cookie, seen a hint of tinsel or garland, even the traces of plastic needles from a fake Christmas tree? Usually, I'm able to do without... why not now? I need SOMETHING. Fine, I'm resigned to not having snow. But I'm ready to go to the mall and look at the soulless Christmas tree that they have callously put up merely to imitate their Western counterparts and cater to the rich-wannabe crowd, that of which I spoke so derisively of last year. I'll take it. I'll take anything if it can assuage this fear that the spirit of Christmas is dying inside of me. Anything.

I'm panicking.

But is it my fault? How much longer must I continue to carry on like this by myself? Where's my fucking Christmas miracle? It's about frickin' time! Where's my white Christmas? Is it too much to ask for to have a few semi-interested souls around me just to help carry the season's cheer? Something more than an empty piece of fruit cake or a fake Christmas card? No overly commercialized wannabe Christmas special on TV, but something real for a change? Or will I be forced to take the burden all on myself for so that when I finally do get the white Christmas there'll be nothing inside of me to even be moved to care, my biggest fear?

I don't think it's too much to ask for. No man is an island. Or, every man is an island. Whatever. But if the latter, then he's in a fucking archipelago. No one can do it on his own for too damn long.

I really need a Christmas miracle this year. Or hell... I'll settle for a Christmas happenstance. <Play "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year">.

I'll sign off with a Christmas rage (courtesy Google):