Power To Love

You ever heard that Jimi Hendrix song, "Power To Love"? Damn good song. It has sexy base, a very funky, spacey lead, with abstract, psychadelic lyrics delivered to us in Jimi's ethereal, smooth voice. Funkaelic.

Now, the lyrics are way out there. You have to sit down to understand them. I'm not sure if they are intended to have any meaning, or you are just supposed to light up a joint and enjoy the flight. Its not that that I'm concerned with right now.

Its the title of the song itself. It really got me thinking: it really is a power to love. And a great power it is. The times are wild. Now, more than ever, does one require an almost unnatural strength to love.

I was speaking with a certain someone the other day about "loving with abandon". Ah, that sweet, innocent feeling. That naivety and foolishness, that sweetest of arrogance. Unfortunately, in most people it seems to be a thing had only once when young and impressionable, and then generally lost forever.

Loving with abandon comes naturally to me, I think. It is my great misfortune. And its a good thing. It is a great feeling to have, to feel like that, to love selflessly and with no regard for anything, least of all one's self. Such a beautiful high can only be maintained for so long, if not returned. For it will take you to the greatest heights, and send you to the lowest pits. The Lowest of Lows is a terrible place, where the wind blows forlornly and the sun doesn't shine through the dull gray clouds. Its a place that is so cold and miserable that you are glad when it is replaced with the emptiness of nothing. A void, a black hole. Ah, what a pleasant change. I love plateaus. At least you can breathe up there.

And then there are some days when I don't even want the power to love. Can I do that? Can I choose when I want it, and then to discard it when I see fit? I guess its not fair to call it natural or instinctual then. But the hell with what is right and what isn't. There are times when I just forsake it all, leave it where I stand and move somewhere else. Just dump it so I don't have to carry that weight, and maybe, just maybe I can try to climb up to some place with a nice view and at least camp for a while. (But there is no place higher up on a plateau, is there)?

There is this anonymous quote I once read: "Approach cooking and love with reckless abandon". I fully agree with it (for some reason I think I would have made a great chef). No matter where I drop whatever I dropped, it manages to follow and catch up with me. So I guess loving with abandon is natural to me after all.

What can I say? I'm a child.

And as such, I should be treated as a child. Though my descisions may seem that of a mature person, though I am forced to make choices on "grown up" issues, though I may have all the abilities and responsibilities of an adult, the fact remains that I am, if not in mind then at least in heart, a child. I guess I'm a little book-smart. And I know my multiplication tables and stuff like that. I can drive and I can tie my shoe. But I have zero street-smarts and common sense. I'm the kid who has to touch the stove to find out its hot. No, I can't be expected to take responsibility for my actions and face the consequences. God forbid that I should commit a felony, because they'd try me as an adult. But no, I need to be forgiven as a child and told again and again what is right. I try to learn, but I need your guidance, and your grace.

Maybe only a child can love with abandon. So, can I? The answer, unfortunately, and I suppose, fortunately, is yes. And all I can do is smile sheepishly, and walk on. It is my gift... and it is so totally my curse.

And maybe that makes me the most powerful of all. Maybe, given the chance, I can do anything with it.

After all, in Jimi's words, "with the power of soul anything is possible".